


Open Heart

by Marsonist



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Chronic Pain, Doctor!Jackson, Doctor!Jinyoung, Doctor!Mark, Doctor/Patient, Hospitals, Jaebeom has a crush on Youngjae, Jaebeom needs a surgery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Procedures, Mentions of Anxiety, Nurse!Bambam, Nurse!Youngjae, Nurse!Yugyeom, Patient!Jaebeom, Trauma, Youngjae has a crush on Mark, Youngjae wants to heal Jaebeom somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-06-03 06:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19458457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsonist/pseuds/Marsonist
Summary: Youngjae decided to dedicate his life to help people, after studying hard he's now prepared to work at one of the most famous and busiest hospitals of the country. His goal is to heal them all.Jaebeom decided to dedicate his life to dancing, after practicing hard day and night, he's now injured and he will need to take surgery at one of the most famous and busiest hospitals of the country. His goal... he just wants to get healed.





	1. You don't have to

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for so long, I'm so sorry alskjdfhas  
> I decided to do two parts and well, here we are.
> 
> Just some clarifications because maybe I was not clear enough in the story:
> 
> ─Maknae line are final year students.  
> ─Hyungline (-Jaebeom) are specialized doctors.  
> ─Their age gape is a little different, hyungline is a little more older than maknae line (is on your imagination)  
> ─Also, I know nothing about hospitals more than what I see when I go there and books.

“The Founders” Hospital was one of the top tier places where medicine students every year try to apply and get experience on the field, because it was most famous place of the country and was one of the busiest in the world. Even if it was an excellent place, it was hard to keep up with the everyday rhythm that's why it was difficult to get in. With blue uniforms and visitors passes hanging on their necks, carrying a lot of papers and pretending a smile to look good and earn sympathy and trust, all over the hospital they do their best. From over 3000 applies, only 30 were selected. You can apply every year again and again, there's not a limit of times but get rejected more than once was not fun at all. The Founders Hospital was known for being one of the strictest places to work at, they had they best of the best referring to doctors and surgeons, so get in to work there was a hell. First you'll need to approve a general test with 95/100 questions answered correctly, from the 3000, applicants, usually only a third approves, the selected ones get a schedule for a week (it could be morning, afternoon or overnight shifts all mixed), you need to be punctual in the hospital ready for whatever duty they might need. Let's say you were a pediatrician student but they need someone to clean the blood from one of the surgery rooms; yes, you will need to do it. Then comes the interviews asking you about your experience and they know when you're lying or when you're desperate and made things up. They only want you to be honest and tell them if you're ready to work or not. That's when they select only 30 people for the intern program and, after that, they select at least half of them for the permanent program.

Youngjae sees them from afar, how all of them running carrying coffee cups, mops or bandages, all of them trying to portray a good impression. Fortunately, Youngjae and his two friends miraculously passed all the stages, also the intern program and finally, they got to work in the country's biggest hospital. He was getting inside the dresser room to change his normal clothes for his new uniform from the permanent program; he had his badge hanging from his neck "Choi Youngjae, medical assistant". He can't help it but smile whenever he reads it. It was a hell and he survived; he's so proud of himself.

"Choi Youngjae, it's so late" his friend says opening the door and rushing to his locker.

"You're late, not me"

"I hate you" both laugh but his friend is really late. Not so much as his other friend...

"Youngjae, Yugyeom, is so fucking late!" The third one enters to room.

"I'm still shocked, Bambam, how did you managed to score high in the general test?" Yugyeom asks.

"Shut up" he secretly is thankful he has a uniform, not like school where he used to take hours to choose clothes to wear. He takes his clothes off and put on the other ones at speed of light. "Yugyeom, borrow me some lip balm"

"You took it from me last time!"

"What? I didn't! Right, Youngjae?"

"Oh, no. The last time I got in-between a fight of yours I ended up with blood in my shoes and I had to throw them away"

"Come on, singer of the hallway" Bambam said. There was silence for 2 seconds and then both younger men burst in laughter. Youngjae's face was all red because he was embarrassed and also angry at them, it happened long ago, they need to forget about it at some point but clearly they were still not getting over it.

"Remember what the Director said?" Yugyeom spoke and then mocked the way the director of the hospital talked to Youngjae that day "Youngjae, you're a genius, but please, no singing in the hallways"

"All of us were there! I can't believe he dared to say that to you, Youngjae!" Bambam kept laughing.

Youngjae remembers the day all of them were selected, after the test, after the infernal week, after the interviews, they called them in a special meeting. The Hospital's Director, the selection committee and some of the major doctors were all reunited to qualify each contestant. They were supposed to say in front of everyone about the behavior and capabilities (good or bad) of each student. Some of them were really bad comments: "I caught them sleeping", "They mixed wrongly the medicine I asked for", "They couldn't clean correctly the equipment I gave to them", "They told to my patients a wrong information" and lastly a rough "Rejected".

Youngjae waited his turn to be called, his heart almost jumps out of his chest when he was in the front, the evaluators talked about his ability of work under pressure: "he takes decisions quickly", "he knows to manage time", "He got late a few times but he was one of the few to leave pretty late out of the hospital". Then the doctors also said good things about him: "He's always smiling, my kids love him", "I like his audacity", and "He's so straight forward".

And lastly, the Director: "Choi Youngjae, my lost son" he joked, his name is Choi also, Choi Siwon. "It looks like everyone likes you here. We’re looking for people with abilities and knowledge, but also we're looking for attitude and confidence. You'll not survive here without both of your qualities: your brain and your heart. Youngjae, you're a genius, but please, no singing in the hallways." The Director was an old and graceful man, he was kind and observant, he met Youngjae late at night after his shift singing in the corridor and it was heard through the entire hallway. "Congratulations, you're in"

"Alright, alright" a feminine voice took him out of his mind.

"Are you insane? This is men dresser room!" Bambam said covering his chest with Yugyeom.

"I'm not interested in your noodle body, Bambam" she said making a disgusted face. "Today's your first day and this is just the beginning. You thought the selection process was a hell? Well, that was nothing. Be prepared!"

All of them were assigned to a different field depending on their degree and the doctor who needed help. Youngjae was happy, he was assigned to the Traumatology department (Rehab and therapy), since teenager, he always dreamt of helping people, he studied hard, he worked hard, so no one could ever stop him to reach his goal. He was going to be a psychological therapist.

"The next patient is the boy who broke his leg, remember? He's feeling down again, he's scared because he thinks he won't play football anymore" the doctor said. "Please, help me"

"Of course, Dr. Wang"

"Hey, I told you to call me Jackson. Just Jackson"

"Sure" he laughed. Dr. Wang was a caring and lovable person; he was one of the most requested doctors in the orthopedology department, mostly by kids. Youngjae was amazed of how everyone loved him almost immediately, there was no patient coming out of his clinic without a smile on their face. Youngjae admired him enough to obey and trust his instructions.

At lunch, Youngjae was free. "Dr. Wang-- I mean, Jackson, I'll be outside, is that okay?"

"Sure, no problem. Just be here in one hour"

"Sure that"

"Also, Youngjae? No singing in the hallways" he funnily smiled and then laughed, he was also there at the famous meeting. Youngjae smiled forcedly; after all he can't kill his boss.

He was walking watching some other patients, all of them there caused by different situations accidents, car crashes, work related injuries, all of them suffered a kind of trauma and that was Youngjae’s specialty..

From the 3rd floor, he needed to go to the 1st one using the stairs (elevators were only for stretchers and wheelchairs). Yugyeom found him nearby and joined to him. At the 2th floor, they found Bambam.

"Bambam, how in the world did you scored high in the test?" Doctor Park was talking to him severely. "I truly want to trust you and when I'm about to do it, you do something stupid"

"I just--"

"Go have some luch, please, maybe you need it"

Bambam turned to walk away facing down until he saw his friends. He knew they heard everything. No one commented about it, they only changed subject and joked around until they reached outside.

"You came out early, Yugyeom" they were sitting on a bench right in front of the hospital entrance, eating sandwiches Yugyeom’s mom bought them, there was a waiting space with tables and some games sets for kids. Each of them with their lunch on their lap, they ate on silence until Youngjae decided to talk.

“Working with Dr. Tuan, is it fun?”

"Just a little, Dr. Tuan is intense, but he's amazing" Yugyeom bragged.

"At least he's cool..." Bambam said looking defeated.

"Oh, Dr. Park is also cool!"

"Do you want to exchange?"

"That's not going to happen"

"See? We all know he's the devil wearing white!"

"Jackson says he's a bit perfectionist, try to understand him" Youngjae said.

"Who's Jackson?" Yugyeom asked.

"Jackson Wang??? DR. WANG--?" Bambam shouted.

"He told me to call him like that!" Youngjae defended himself.

"Wow" both teased him more.

"SHIT!" Yugyeom said out if nowhere.

"What's wrong--?" Youngjae wanted to know until he saw Dr. Tuan walking towards them.

"Shit, shit! Is it late? What time is it?" Yugs was freaking out.

" _I'm sorry_ " there he was; the American doctor everyone talked about, maybe the one God sent into that hospital to do miracles, if he was a human, it was probably the most perfect one Youngjae has ever met. And he was there, apologizing himself. "I don't want to bother the three of you. I just want you to know, Yugyeom, today's surgery was suspended, there are not enough blood donors and we--"

"I volunteer!" Youngjae interrupted. Everyone else looked at him. "I, I mean, I'm a universal donor, I can help..."

"Thank you" he said in a killer way: using English and smiling sweetly. "Although, I checked your donor record and you have donated enough this week, I can't let you do it one more time"

"Oh... Okay" Youngjae hoped the burn on his cheeks was not that visible. "So, what are you going to do?"

"We just wait. Thankfully, we have the patient under control" he went back to Yugyeom, "so, please, after lunch, go help Dr. Park with the special patient of him."

"Roger that"

"I heard you need a little help, Bambam, please take care of my assistant"

"I'll try, Dr. Tuan..."

"And Youngjae?"

"Yes?"

"Please, no singing in the hallways" he smirked.

Youngjae felt his heart in heaven.

♦ ───── ♦ ───── ♦

Being hospitalized sounded like no fun at all, after so many tests, x-rays exams, after talking to so many doctors, after therapy and all that crap, he was finally decided —forced— to obey his doctor and get into surgery. It was not complicated... Just by the fact that he might not be able to dance again.

"I should've listened to you earlier..."

"Stop blaming yourself, Jaebeom"

"I can do nothing else, I did this to myself. Now I can't even fucking move my legs! This is so frustrating, I want to run away and I can't, I--"

"Jaebeom."

"Jinyoung, I'm sorry I should've..."

Dr. Park Jinyoung met Jaebeom in high school and since then, he always have listened to him talking about his dream of being a huge artist, to perform in front of a lot of people, to travel around the world, and much more, he knows how his friend worked hard for it, maybe too much; he was in part guilty because he didn't stop him on time, or that's what he got to think. They were talking outside the hospital, walking around with Jaebeom on a wheelchair and Jinyoung pushing him forward. They were visiting the place to arrange Jaebeom’s day of surgery.

"You told me you enjoyed therapy" Jinyoung was teasing him.

"Don't change subject..."

"How did you call him?"

"Stop it, Jinyoung"

"Gifted man?"

"I swear that’s the name I heard! Stop kidding. Hurry up and take me out of here!"

"Oh! There he is, with his friends" Jinyoung pointed using his head, even if Jaebeom couldn't see him, he knew where to look. "They're talking with Mark, we should say hi"

"DON'T YOU DARE OR I'LL JUMP OFF THE WHEELCHAIR!"

Jinyoung laughed covering his mouth with one hand, as he used to, he was having fun but it was true, he was not that mean. He turned to the opposite side and went inside the building. Jaebeom took a last glance at the three friends in front of Mark, more likely to the blushing boy (that gifted guy), he looked the same; someone unreachable.

"Oh, Sseun-ah!" Jinyoung spotted Jackson in the distance.

"Nyeongie!" Dr. Wang shouted.

"Look who's here"

"Oh my God, Mr. Lim. I told you were not getting free of me so easily!"

"Hey, Jackson..." Jaebeom was feeling awkward again.

"Oh, don't be so blue, it won't last so long, you'll get free soon"

"No offense, but I hope so. I'm sick of this chair"

"Let me help you with the chair, Jinyoung"

"I'm good, thank you, Jackson"

"Come on, don't be shy, Jinyoung"

Jinyoung punched Jackson's hand off the wheelchair "I said I'm good, thank you"

"Stop flirting" Jaebeom pretended to be disgusted. "Hurry up!"

————

"When was the last time you got an erection?" Jaebeom almost choked at Jinyoung's question.

"What kind of hospital is this???"

Jinyoung laughed. "Your bottom body is not working correctly, remember? You can't move your legs, how about the other organs? I swear, I thought it would be better to ask than check by myself"

"I see..." Jaebeom tried to remember without blushing. "After that therapy thing, I guess"

"At home?"

"Y-yeah"

"After the full loss of your legs, so it's not a complete paralysis, you might recover with the surgery, Jaebeom, don't be so afraid"

"I'm not... Alright, I am. What's the point if I won't be able to dance again? I'll be grateful the pain will go away but at what cost?"

"My plan was to take you to physical therapy and hope for you to get better. You were doing great until the last session. You still refuse to tell me what happened there, but I also can't believe for just one session everything else went down. So this is all what I can offer to you."

"Yeah... thanks--"

"Your last erection was long ago though. Are you having problems? I can give some tips to..."

"Oh, God. No!" Jaebeom said covering his ears with both hands. "I just want to dance again, shut up".

The last time he danced was long ago, after his first audition, before being recruited into his dreamed agency, his legs suddenly felt weak, he suddenly couldn't stand up by himself. He remembered how scared he was because his body didn't responded as it should. You wake up one morning, everything is normal and out of nowhere, you fall in the floor and you can't stand in your feet anymore. The first person you call is your annoying doctor friend, moments later you enter by emergency to the Neurology Department.

Jaebeom remembered feeling lost. Why was he there? Why he being so young? Why did he wait so much? Why life was so ironic?

"Jinyoung?" Jackson called at the door.

"Jackson, come in. Jaebeom, Dr. Wang helped me with this decision, he saw great improvement in your therapies so he's the same as confused as me, we're wondering what was the factor of impact."

"Sure..." Jaebeom was not so convinced, they both have no idea of what happened the last time he had therapy. No one will ever know.

"I don't give up with my patients, you'll see, you'll walk soon" Jackson assures him.

"I hope so" Jaebeom says coldly. They talk a bit more and then it was time to take Jaebeom back home.

————

"Dr. Park has a new patient" Bambam started the conversation while taking off his clothes, their shift ended already, Yugyeom wasn't there yet though.

"Good" Youngjae vaguely replied, he was thinking in something else.

"Interesting guy, apparently is a friend of his" Bambam tried again. "He was a dancer, he hurt his back and now he can't walk"

"I see" Youngjae, again, didn't show any interest.

"Can you imagine? You dedicate your life to your passion and because of it your body gets hurt and now you can't do it anymore"

"What?" Finally some reaction.

"Dr. Park plans to do a surgery on him, there's possibilities he won't dance again, and he might do it anyway because of his back pain"

"That... Sounds awful, I hope the best for him"

"And you know...?" Bambam tried to say something else.

"There he goes! I gotta go, wish me luck!" Youngjae ran away because through the door, he saw Dr. Tuan. He wanted to talk to him, leaving Bambam no chance to say more.

"No, wait Youngjae! Yugyeom said...!" Youngjae was gone already.

Dr. Mark Tuan was amazing, Youngjae thought, he was young, handsome, kind and funny. A cardiac surgeon that probably was able to heal his heart, Youngjae imagined. A man that probably had millions of pretenders, but tonight he was going to asking him out, Youngjae was decided.

That was the plan but Dr. Mark was too fast, he was close to losing him; he followed him to an empty waiting room. It was so late at night, it was usual for doctors like him to be there but today he was so suspicious, like he was hiding something. Inside the room, Youngjae didn't dare to say a word, Mark was too quiet looking through a window at the sky night outside and nexpectedly, the gentle Dr. Tuan furiously grabbed one of the chairs near him and threw it to the wall destroying it into pieces. Youngjae froze, not knowing what to do or what happened, until someone kicked the door open to go inside: it was Jackson. He didn't notice Youngjae was there; he just ran to comfort his friend.

Jackson grabbed Mark's arms to stop him and calm him down, he basically force him into a hug until he gave up his arms and then, Mark grabbed him tightly. Mark was screaming in pain, Jackson was fondling his hair to give him some strength. Minutes later, Jinyoung was crossing the doors to come in too.

"Mark..." Dr. Park said softly.

"I know, Jinyoung" Mark cried. "I know you will say it's not my fault but I feel awful anyway. I couldn't save him, he died on my hands, Jinyoung, he died trusting on me"

"Mark" Jackson tried to say "It's okay to feel bad, go ahead and cry all you want"

"I tried my best, Jackson" he submerged his face on the Chinese man shoulder. Jinyoung caressed his back using one hand.

Youngjae didn't know they were so good friends, he was in shock. Mark had also this strong feelings towards his patients, his heart was bigger than he thought and Youngjae was having mixed emotions between getting sad for the patient and happy to find this type of person alive. He left the room in silence to not disturb them. Part of him was still beating at full speed but he was also encouraged; Dr. Tuan would never be interested in someone like him... So, he needed to work even harder to go for him and catch him.

————

Please, Youngjae! Please!"

"What's so important, Bambam? You know we're all busy, today's Monday" Youngjae said irritated. Bambam is his friend but he was also stressed because of work. Taking care for patients can drain you sometimes.

"Just one hour! Please take care of him for one hour! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!"

"Alright! Geez!" Youngjae was insecure; why Bambam can't tell him his reasons? He was to suspicious, but he couldn't handle the idea of a patient treated badly. "Just one hour?"

"Yes, I beg you. His family is far away from here and no one else can help him" Bambam wasn't lying. If it was Jinyoung's new patient, Jackson was working with him previously: A handsome dancer that got his back injured and now he wasn't able to walk. Everyone talked about him because everyone was scared of him. Probably that was the reason Bambam wanted to flee away.

"Okay, leave it to me."

"Thank you!" Bambam exhaled relieved.

————

_"This might sound weird... By any chance, do you know someone that used to sing at night here? I was like a sweet lullaby"_

_"Youngjae-hyung?"_

_"Is it him?"_

_"He became like a meme over here, he used to sing at night and for the final interview with our boss, the Hospital Director joked about it. We like to tease him since then"_

_"Is he here, in this floor?"_

_"Nah, he is in the 3rd floor, are you... Are you interested on him?"_

_"Uh... No, I was just... I..."_

_"Oh... Oh! Wait a moment, don't move!"_

_"I can't move..."_

_"Let me talk to Yugyeom, I'll be back!"_

_"Okay..."_

♦ ───── ♦ ───── ♦

**(Exactly one year ago)**

"Youngjae?"

"Yes? Dr. Park? Yes?" Youngjae was scared, anxious and excited, it was his first time working with a recognizable doctor, after the hell of test and interviews, he was finally there, on his first test week ready for action.

"Calm down, Youngjae. I thought you were not here, you seemed thinking in something else."

"No... No! Of course no! I'm ready for everything!"

Jinyoung laughed amazed by the younger one enthusiasm. He was one of the few ones; the rest of the interns looked totally different from him, with no ambitions or dreams, just there to accomplish other people goals. He could tell.

"Today I'll bring a new patient to Jackson; can you help me with him?"

"Yes! I mean, of course! I'm ready! What do I need to do?"

"First of all: breathe" so Youngjae did. "Now, I'll be busy with some paper I need to fill for him, please go with Dr. Wang and ask him what to do”

Youngjae was still new to all this, he liked to be at the hospital, he liked to help so many people, he liked to see patients smile, most of them were there thankful because of his service, most of them except this new patient of Dr. Wang now in front of him: a few years older than him, the was apparently a dancer and he broke his back or something, it wasn't clear Jinyoung barely said something about him, he said: "He likes to smile"

"Hello, Mr. Lim Jaebeom" Dr. Wang said happy as always. Jaebeom did not respond. "We have such a good humor today, huh? Thank god" Jackson laughed while preparing his tools to check Jaebeom's body. "This is Youngjae, one of the new assistants and today he will help me, aren't you happy to meet someone knew?"

No reply.

"I'll do that for you" Youngjae said automatically, watching Jackson preparing his tools, it was his only job, doesn't it? Jackson let him be.

"Okay, let's check your legs, will you let me?" Jaebeom nodded. "Alright, they still have some strength" he touched his inner thigh and Jaebeom cringed. "You also have some tickling nerves here… That's good!" Jackson laughed. Then, he passed to the reflex test on his knees; nothing happened.

Jackson never lost the smile on his face, his thinking was so positive, regardless everything else, he was so sure Jaebeom was be able to walk again. Youngjae couldn't understand why back then, he was learning and he preferred to not get involved with patients in a personal way.

Oh, if he knew.

"Help me to..."

"Yes! Whatever you want" Youngjae interrupted Jackson's words. Jackson laughed again.

"Alright, please help him sit on the bed. I need to check the rest of his body. Youngjae will help you, Mr. Lim, is that okay?"

No words from Jaebeom, just a small and childish nod and frown eyebrows.

Youngjae did his best, he was willing to help with the best of the intentions but once he was in front of the new patient, he got nervous and he was not so sure about how to handle the task. To help him to sit over the bed, from the wheelchair to the tall bed, from the death stares to the soft chuckles from Jackson who was walking out of the room.

There was no option; the quickest way in Youngjae's mind was to carry him on his arms, bridal style, making sure to not hurt his body even though he was getting hurt on his pride. Jaebeom, scared of falling, he clanged from the assistant's neck meanwhile he was taking him to bed.

For the first time, Youngjae saw him change his face expression, it was cute. He was so scared that he forgot he was a bad boy. Once on bed, Jaebeom pushed him away. He went back to those killing eyes.

"I won't hurt you; you don't have to be so scared"

"I'm not scared!" Jaebeom declared as if he was offended. His voice was so soft and angry at the same time.

"I'm just helping you"

"You don't have to"

"Uh... Yes? It's my job"

"Yeah, sure. You all only want to make fun of me"

"You all who? I am me. I don't see why you are so mad at me, I'm here to help. Did I laugh of you?"

"... No" the patient mumbled.

"I didn’t hear you"

"No! I guess..."

"Right..."

"The... Uh... Usually, Jackson's assistants put me on my feet and then they drag me to the bed, I thought that was normal. Carrying me around doesn't look normal" looking at the floor, Jaebeom confessed.

"Oh, so that's why..." Youngjae analyzed maybe that was one option. "Well, I did my job, you're now in bed. You’re welcome"

Jaebeom took a few minutes, long minutes to say "thanks" and maybe what Youngjae could think as a light trick, he could swear it was Jaebeom smiling for a few quick microseconds.

Jackson came back and Jaebeom was again with a grumpy face. He had Jaebeom's case file on his hands and he was reading it when he cross the room upon his desk and then went over to Jaebeom.

"I see you didn't kill our new student, thank you, Jaebeom-ie" Jackson jokes and Jaebeom cringed with a mad groan. "Youngjae, you can go now, I--"

"Why?" Jaebeom spoke again and Jackson opened his mouth widely, also Youngjae was lightly surprised. "Why... Why are you taking so long? Hurry up, I wanna go home"

That sounded more accurate.

Youngjae was sent to a different department meanwhile Jackson was torturing Jaebeom with questions. He was curious about this recent reaction and maybe he was a little bit intrusive just because he wanted the best for his patients. Questions like "Was Youngjae a good help to you?, "I can bring him back if you want", "He wants to be a therapist, maybe you can help him?"

Although, Jaebeom never replied more than angry sounds from his mouth; it was truth the following days, he was early at the clinic, more willing to get help than before, always expecting Youngjae to come back, and he could have to, their schedule just never collided more than a few times, not until the very end.

————

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I have no option, Jinyoung, I can't drive"

"Yes, but maybe Jackson can take you home... Or..."

"No, I don't want to. I prefer to stay here"

Jinyoung was the one who helped him drive home everyday, usually he takes a break at night almost always just to bring him home, Jaebeom's place was near anyway, it was not more that 15 minutes trip, just tonight, Jinyoung was really busy, again feeling guilty, he was thinking in a million of possibilities to take his friend home. Jackson was free at the moment but Jaebeom always felt overwhelmed with his attention, Mark was busy, everyone else was busy... Except for the interns.

"Alright... I'll get your room ready, don't move"

"The ‘ _don't move’_ jokes are so old, Jinyoung!" he shouted as the doctor was going.

Suddenly Jaebeom realized he was alone at the hospital hallway in the middle of the night. Someone or something behind him made noise knocking the glass of the window near him, he could swear he saw something moving at the other side, then, a thunder. Jaebeom's hair went up and if he could only feel his spine, he could've said it got frozen.

He could tell it was raining outside, there was no noise of water running, actually it was dead silent, but outside the window he could see the big thunderstorm over the city. Once again, he wished he could stay there in the hospital. Just not there, more like a dark room far away from the windows with his earphones at full volume listening to the most recent hits from his favorite artists.

Instead, his chest was getting crushed by the silence.

Right when he thought he could die just there, a smooth and calm lullaby caught his ears and embraced them on a warm melody. Someone was singing near of him and he thought that even if it was the demon itself, their voice was so amazing, so calming, so full of emotions that he himself was feeling relieved by only listening. Who that person could be?

His voice was filling the entire hallway, it wasn't for him, he thought, but he felt comforted, he felt calmer than ever. Was it some visitor singing to their children? Was it a boyfriend singing to his fiancee? Was it an angel taking his soul already? His eyes got closed, last thing he knew it was some familiar arms taking him into bed in bridal style, he wished for some hope. He wished he could just stay there and forget about the pain.

♦ ───── ♦ ───── ♦

**(Back to the present)**

So... Lim Jaebeom, the problematic patient. Youngjae was only going to take care of him; it wasn't so difficult, right? He was taking care of him just for one hour. He was still wondering why Bambam needed to go out right at this moment, he was having problems with Dr. Park, was this something related to his performance? To be very honest, Youngjae was just hoping for the best, to finish his shift calmly, no hurry, no pressure just…

That was not going to happen.

A scream was heard at the distance but it was so near where Youngjae was, it was coming from Jaebeom's room, it was actually his room! “Please, someone help me!” It was probably Jaebeom’s desperate voice calling for someone to save his life.

Youngjae pushed the door in and he as a medical assistant could expect to see anything, maybe Jaebeom was falling from his bed and that’s why he was screaming, or maybe there was a bug on the window, or maybe someone broke into the place and it was robbing everything… literally he could’ve imagine anything, but not Dr. Tuan trying to kiss Jaebeom’s cheek.

Jaebeom was on his bed, using his normal and edgy clothes, his legs were covered by a blanket and Mark had his lips out ready to touch the other’s cheek, he was pulling from his arm and when they notice someone getting inside the room, their image got froze on Youngjae’s mind. Nothing good, you can tell.

“Youngjae?” Jaebeom looked at him so confused and so ashamed.

“Youngjae?” Mark was also surprised.

“Oh… I didn’t know you two—“

“NO! Nothing happened! He just--”

“He’s Jinyoung’s friend, I just like to tease him” Mark spoke.

“Oh…”

“Yes and I don’t like it, I told him to stop, I was just saying I'm not a kiss on the cheek person and he--"

“I didn’t know you were so close”

“We’re not! I mean, not like that, I was just talking to him--”

Mark chuckled under his hand and then looked at Youngjae, a bit sorry, just to say “There’s nothing happening, really. I was just playing, look at his red face”

“Can you shut up?” Jaebeom threw a pillow that Mark avoided. Then he remembered Youngjae “And what are you doing here?”

“Oh, yeah. Bambam couldn’t come, so I’ll be taking care of you”

“He couldn’t? That’s weird, Jinyoung didn’t tell me anything…”

“To be honest, I don’t know if he asked permission… Please, don’t tell anyone, please”

“Youngjae…”

“Or I tell everyone what I saw tonight”

Both Jaebeom and Mark, were speechless at Youngjae’s boldness, Mark was not going to tell anything anyway but it was still surprising how much he cared about his friend. Both just agreed. Dr. Tuan was called by the hallway speakers and got out of there after saying good bye.

The awkwardness was heavy when only the two of them were left in the room, Bambam said it was just until Dr. Park could get free and then he was going to take him home, Bambam said Dr. Park was busy with some issues, no one else can take Jaebeom home and that’s why he had to watch him out.

“The humidifier needs water” Lim Jaebeom saving the day by starting the conversation. Or kind of.

“Oh, really? I’ll fix it right away”

“I haven’t eaten either”

“What??”

“And… I want you to leave”

Wait, what? Did he hear right? To leave? “What do you mean? I thought you needed help”

“Yeah, but I changed my mind. I better just wait for Jinyoung. Your shift finished already, doesn’t it? You don’t have to do all this”

“Jaebeom… why do you reject everyone around you?”

Now, that was a question Jaebeom never expected to be asked. Youngjae has made him go speechless a billion times and he never was prepared when this type of topics were brought to light.

“I don’t have to answer that”

“I’m tired, okay?” Youngjae was getting serious, suddenly he was mad just because he just wanted to help and Jaebeom was rejecting him as always. “You can hate me all you want but I want to know the reason. Do you have a problem with me?”

“No”

“Then?”

“Are you in love with Mark?” Jaebeom asked. Youngjae wanted honesty, well, it was honesty time.

“I don’t have to—“

“You don't have to answer… That’s what I thought”

“Are you in love with Mark?” Youngjae asked and Jaebeom could have laughed louder if it wasn’t because of his back problem.

“I’m not”

“I do. I’m in love with him” Yes, Jaebeom knew it. It hurt, not as much as he thought, thankfully.

“Are you going to ask him out?” Jaebeom wanted to know.

“I want to; he’s just… so unreachable at the moment. I need to focus on my job”

“I totally understand that, that’s totally me right now”

“So… are you in love with someone unreachable?”

“Just a little”

“Who is it?”

“I won’t tell”

“Why? Is it really Dr. Tuan?”

“No. It doesn’t matter who anyway, I can’t do anything?”

“Why not?”

“Just look at me. I can’t even go home by myself, how could I even confessed it, he would never look at me the way I look at him” Youngjae smiled.

“So… Is a he. Good to know you won’t judge”

“Why would I?”

“Is this why you act so defensive all the time? Jaebeom, you should try at least, you won’t know if you don’t try”

“Would you?”

“Me? What?”

“Would you date someone like me?”

“I don’t know… honestly, I’m not thinking of you like that”

“Maybe he won’t date me and that’s why I prefer to take it with me until I die”

“Well… you’re not that bad if maybe you could smile more, you look like a terror character on a wheelchair. No one would ever dare to approach you, you scare everyone”

“Do you think so?”

“Yeah! You’re good looking, somehow”

“So… date me.”

“Huh?”

“Just to prove your point. Date me once, uh… teach me how to act and then I’ll do it, I’ll ask him for a real date”

Bambam opened the door in a rush and closed it behind him, the other two just watched him while he was getting to breathe again. Youngjae got it in an instant, Park Jinyoung was coming. Speaking of the devil, Dr. Park opened the door like in a drama movie, full of suspense and tension. He saw Bambam, then Youngjae and lastly Jaebeom.

“I finished” Jinyoung said. “Let’s go home, Jaebeom”

————

“You did what???” Jinyoung was driving home.

“It was his idea, basically! I just… I just took advantage from it”

“I can’t believe it, I just can’t”

“Why? Because I can’t walk?”

“No, because Youngjae looked like he only had eyes for Mark”

“He is. He just pities on me. Actually, he didn’t say yes, he said nothing, he will probably forget about it”

“I can call him and ask”

“Don’t fucking dare, just leave him alone, let’s stop this madness”

“You want to date him, though”

“Drop it, Jinyoung”

Jaebeom said no more, he pretended to be deaf and just look through the car window, like Jinyoung said, he wanted to date him, but who would ever want to date him? Jaebeom decided to forget about him and just let him leave since he found out about his crush with Mark.

Jinyoung cellphone rang, he was driving so he put it on speaker: “Dr. Park”

“Hi, this is Youngjae” Jaebeom opened his eyes like plates.

“Oh, hi, Youngjae. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Uh… Is Jaebeom with you?”

“I’m driving… I’m going to the shop to get some groceries, Jaebeom’s at home. Did you want to talk to him?”

“Not now. I just… I don’t know how to say this, he… he asked me out and… I…”

“Youngjae, he commented me part of it and if you don’t want to—“

“No, no! I just didn’t know how to answer, I don’t know… I want to help him, he looked so sad when he was telling me that no one wants to date him”

“So… You’ll date him?”

“I want to help him. I’m no one to talk about confidence, but he needs a lot, maybe I can help. You know, I had a traumatology degree, I know his psychology, he needs someone to support him, I know you’ve been pretty busy lately, I just feel...”

“Can I ask you something?” Jinyoung needed to be sure “Don’t do this as work, you don’t have to, he needs help but this is not your job”

“I know. I know…”

“You’re a nice kid, Youngjae, don’t involve yourself on this matters”

“I know… Even so, I’m worried, please, let me do this, just one session and then I’ll let him free”

“What’s your goal, Youngjae”

“To show him that he worth the effort. He said some sad things and… I have felt that way in the past”

"Why are you worried? You barely know him"

"Yeah... Maybe you're right, I shouldn't--" Youngjae were saying and Jaebeom immediately moved his head side to side to beg Jinyoung to stop him.

"I tell you what, I'll let you have the date, just please, don't get involved too much"

"Why?"

"You'll see, he's not that easy to get"

Jinyoung ended the call telling Youngjae they could discuss the details by text, although Jaebeom wasn't agree. "Why would you tell him that? Why don't you want him to date me?"

"Is not that. It's like those romantic books cliché, you tell them to not get involved and they end up doing it anyway"

"This is not a freaking book, Jinyoung"

"I know. That's why I wanted to be sure"

"Sure of what?"

"You'll see... Mark also says Youngjae is not that easy to get".


	2. I want to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the delay, I... I won't give excuses  
> I just hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Please show me some love in the comments asldjfaksdf

A normal day on Founders Hospital was one full of adrenaline, sadness, happiness, people quietly crying even because something inevitable happened or they were getting the best news of their lives. Anyhow, it was the doctors, their nurses, all the staff in general who lived by this every day, all the time over and over again. They were trained not only to help patients and do their best to cure them, they were also taught to not get attach to anyone, so that was why they could be seeing as cold individuals.

Like Dr. Mark Tuan, one of the youngest cardiologic surgeons in the hospital and also the eldest one from the recent wave of doctors recently hired. Not like nurses or new students, actual surgeons must go through a rough selection, really old and professional people judging your job on previous hospitals, they put new doctors on testing not only one month and they go through a hard process for an entire year. Finally, after a year if every test is approved, they check all possible official surgeons back story to verify they won’t let any weak person to get into the hell of Founders Hospital.

But, there was an exception: Influence.

Is not like Mark Tuan had not worked hard to be where was now, he really dedicated his life to cure people’s heart, he was always trying to be recognized not only because of his last name, even if he wanted to be as any other doctor; his name was already known.

When he got the chance to get transferred to Korea, he just saw an opportunity to start all over again and maybe finally get to be known for what he really is. It didn’t matter he knew nothing about the culture or their language; he wanted to go far away and follow his dream freely. There was still the pressure, all the high expectations because of his dad and his medical background. To everyone, Mark had it easy to get in, he was just transferred, for Mark, it was not easy to fill everyone’s expectations.

When he met Youngjae for the first time (Youngjae was still on testings), Youngjae stared at him a little too much for Mark’s comfort, he thought Youngjae probably recognized him from pictures of the family Tuan and maybe he couldn’t believe such an “impressive” doctor was working with them, but Youngjae just said “An angel”. Several people had told him he was handsome and all kind of flirty comments, but this was the first time a man was calling him like that, he was dumbfounded, he who always thought people will always judge him, he found a kid who thinks he was an angel.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, no. Uh, did you hear that?” the boy was almost shaking in embarrassment.

“Something about an angel”

“Oh, yeah. Uhh… There’s a rumor about an angel in this hospital, did you know it? I was just thinking out loud, don’t mind me, I’ll just go over there and pretend I don’t even--”

“What’s your name?” Mark was amused.

“Oh, don’t tell my boss, I’m so sorry!”

“I promise, I just want to know your name”

“Choi Youngjae. Who are you?”

“I’m Mark Tuan” he was expecting the same reaction _, “really?”, “Are you serious?”. “No way!”_

Youngjae said smiling: “You have a cute name: Mark” an little he knew Mark was not only one of the people Jackson said to be careful, but he in that moment made the well-known silent, serious and cold doctor, smile wider than he ever did since he came at the country. “Are you one of the interns as me? I didn’t see you in orientation this morning”

“I don’t need it. I’m the transferred surgeon”

Youngjae’s chin dropped full at the floor after realizing who he really was “Oh, no shit. I mean, I’m so sorry! Oh, god! Why am I here bothering you? And I was talking to you so casually, I’m so sorry!”

Mark laughed; Youngjae swore his face was falling to the ground. Deep inside, both felt something none of them have felt before.

───── ♠ ─────

The hospital was always a busy and quiet place, but when suddenly there was a doctor and a male nurse yelling for space rushing with a gurney through the hallway, everyone knew they need to move, no matter what. Who was the man in the gurney, it didn’t matter, you needed to move and give some space.

Bambam was in charge to pull and yell for space, to push (gently) the people in the middle of the corridor if it was necessary while Jinyoung was pushing from the other side. The patient needed medical attention immediately, which was the priority. The patient was on pain, the patient was screaming unable to control himself, the patient was Lim Jaebeom.

That morning, Jaebeom was alone at his place, he was calmed but uneasy because of the idea of his date with the medical assistant, he was getting nervous but excited, he was feeling the butterflies in his belly and he was feeling so good that he thought his body had the enough strength to stand up and put himself on his own feet. He wasn’t trying to walk, he just wanted to stand on his feet for a small second at least and he failed.

Next, he was getting into emergency because his back was killing him and it was injuring not only his back and legs, also the nerves on the rest of his body. Jinyoung found him on time; he needed to rush at the hospital before the shock could hurt his brain. The only way to put him under control was to inject him a special medicine directly into his spine. It was painful, but it was the only and fastest way of calming down his pain.

The emergency room was not a fun place to be, that’s what Jaebeom always thought whenever he ended up there. Every time he opened his eyes to look at that familiar celling, it was because his back pain attacked him again (it was the 5th time in the last 3 months). Again he was remembering Jinyoung’s words the day his legs stopped moving:

_“The surgery is to fix the disks of your spine in your back, this will stop your pain, although, you will need to be more careful, you won’t be able to move as you used to”_

_“So… What about dancing?”_

_“The damaged disk is not connecting the nerves on your spine correctly, instead, is sending abnormal signals to the rest of the neuronal system. If I fix it, the pain will go away, but your body might get vulnerable. Jaebeom… This is for your own good. I don’t want you to stop dancing, I just…”_

_“This is inevitable…”_

_“There’s a low chance your body may go back to normal. We won’t know until we do the surgery.”_

_“Is that the only option?”_

_“That’s the best I can think of without hurting you more”_

He always ended up crying thinking in the millions of possibilities he could have if only he had took care of his body as a normal person. He didn’t feel like a normal person, that’s why he used to think dancing was the only thing in the world that could make him feel alive, he never thought someone like him will ended up like this piece of garbage as he was feeling at the moment.

It was his fault.

He could have just listened to his dad and stay at the old Ilsan house, taking care of the strawberry fields, he could have listened to his mom when they move to Seoul when she told him to go to college, he could have listened to his step-dad when he told him to be careful. He just wanted to dance, why was that so bad the world wouldn’t let him do even that?

The door was opened making a soft noise and pulling him out of his own thoughts, Jaebeom covered his face using one arm and pretending to be sleeping even if his eyes were a little puffy still. He wanted to just wait until whoever had entered to go away.

“Are you awake, Jaebeom?” Youngjae whispered warming the patient’s heart. This was not good. “Are you pretending to be sleepy?”

“What do you want?”

“Our date!”

“What?”

“Well… I’m busy most of the time and I haven’t seeing you since that day when you asked me out, so I didn’t know how to ask. But… If you’re free right now… Maybe we can…”

“I just came by emergency. Didn’t you see that?” Jaebeom was still covering his face.

“Yeah, Yugyeom told me because Bambam told him. Are you okay?”

“No, Youngjae, I’m not okay”

“Then, maybe after our date you might relax and we—“

“I can’t move, Youngjae”

“So what? We can have a date right here in this place!”

Jaebeom was processing what was happening, every word Youngjae was telling him, he was thinking: “You’re crazy”.

“Who isn’t?”

“Youngjae… just forget about the date, I don’t feel so good right now”

“It doesn’t have to be a romantic and luxury date. It could be a date just to talk. I want to help you, remember? That special one that you want to conquer, I’m pretty sure you can make it”

“Youngjae…”

“Come on, talk to me”

“Youngjae, I don’t feel so good right now” he repeated softly.

“I know. I just want to talk”

The therapist turned the lights on to find a puffy-eyed patient no wanting to take his arm out of his face, Youngjae laughing told him it was fine, he was not there to hurt him, he was there just to talk taking advantage of the little time he had. Jaebeom acceded to show his red eyes to look at a smiley and lovable face. He hated this already, not because of him, because of this situation. Lying in bed, not able to move, Jaebeom let Youngjae to watch him in his most vulnerable state. Youngjae took a chair and sit right by him at his side.

“I just have a few hours, I asked Jackson to move my shift for later hours, just for you” and with this knowledge, Jaebeom’s heart was doing backflips in his chest, if he could he would just hit himself.

“What do you want from me?”

“To confirm if you like Dr. Mark or not” he said straight, Jaebeom heart was destroyed in seconds. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I’m sorry. Oh, you should have seen your face, I’m sorry!” he laughed.

“Why are you so obsessed with Mark?”

“He’s… like an angel for me. I met him the first day I stepped on this hospital and silently I’ve watched him for afar. Have you? He’s so dedicated to his job, he’s a total professional and yet he has time to smile to his patients. I think… I think we should talk a bit more to know him better, but at the moment, I really like all I know about him”.

“He’s not that cool” he tried to mumble but Youngjae heard him.

“How do you know?”

“I just know. I won’t stab him in the back, but I know he’s just a normal and annoying person”

“Oh, right! You’re his friend!”

“Jackson is his friend (they met in the States), he met Jinyoung through him and then I met him not long ago”

“Oh, god… Is it Jinyoung? Are you in love with Jinyoung?”

“No…”

“Is it Jackson--?”

“What the fuck, Youngjae” he smiled because he couldn’t laugh, this was absurd. “Let’s say I have no crush no more”

Youngjae’s smile faded in a little pout. “Why?”

“Because it hurts me”

“Is it because of your legs? What if you do it after the surgery? Never it’s too late”

“To be honest… I feel more worried about me and if I’ll be able to walk again.”

“This person seems like it’s too important for your mental state, that’s why I feel so curious”

“My mental state?”

“Yes, like an anchor that makes you stay on earth”

“Huh… I never thought of it like that. But what would you get if you know who he is?”

“I don’t wanna know who he is; I’m intrigued of the kind of person who is pulling you down to reality”

“What?”

“I have met so many people, Jaebeom. I know some people might develop defensive ways to comprehend their medical situation. Some people might get crazy, did you know? Some people might hurt themselves thinking it’s the best not for them but for everyone else. And so many other extreme cases, but I’m sure you’re fine, all thanks to that mysterious person.”

“You might get surprised”

“Do I?”

“You… You will never know”

“IS IT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER?” Youngjae screamed and immediately he covered his mouth afraid someone outside hear him. Jaebeom smiled again.

“I think he’s a real person. Do you think I’m delusional?”

“Oh! Oh… Nice question…” Youngjae put his hand on his chin, as if that gesture would help him to think better. Jaebeom was looking at him with a very sweet smile on his face.

This was the very first time he could talk to him properly, it was the first time he felt comfortable enough to joke with him and smile, it was one of the few times since the injury where he was feeling human again and not like the piece of meat carried everywhere. He was in love with those dreamy eyes who tried to analyze him, he was in love with those frown eyebrows who tried to understand the world around him, and he was in love with those pouty lips from that person who was talking to him.

“Jaebeom? Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to go”

“What? Already?”

“Yes! Time flies!”

“Please, don’t leave”

“I want to stay… I’ve learn that you are a softer person that I thought. You have everything by your side to get that person you don’t want to tell me who he is. I respect that. You don’t have to worry, if he rejects you, you always have me and Jinyoung and Jackson and Mark even if he’s too annoying”.

“It’s hard…” his eyes were watering again.

“I know… That’s how you know you’re alive”

Youngjae took his hand and squeezed it for long seconds to give him comfort, more than that, Jaebeom felt all his strength getting back to his body, he was able to breathe again and the bravery inside of him was getting back after so long.

“How… how should I tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“How should I tell him I’m in love with him?”

“I have so little information… I don’t know how well it’s your relationship with him. But… I guess, the best way is to tell him directly. People are dumb and most of them won’t understand you’re talking about them” if only he knew.

“I want to tell him”

“Don’t be afraid… You worth more than you could ever think. I’m sure you know what’s best for you” the therapist said.

“Youngjae… Thank you” the patient said.

───── ♠ ─────

“Mark, I wanna talk to you” Jaebeom said now on his chair, he pushed himself all the way to where the doctor was.

“Jesus, Jaebeom. You scared me!” the doctor was just getting some coffee from a bender machine; he was all alone until the man in the wheelchair appeared and for sure he wasn’t expecting anyone to be behind him at that time.

“It’s something important. It’s about Youngjae”

Mark almost choked “Uh, let’s go to my office”

At the surgeon office, Mark opened both cans of coffee and handed one to Jaebeom and both of them were in silence until the doctor talked again. “What happened?”

“I like Youngjae”

Mark opened his eyes wider for a small moment; he blinked and then continued “Why are you…?”

“I know you like him and… He likes you”

“What?”

“This happened right after my last physical therapy, remember?” Jaebeom was serious but not angry, more like decided. “I was getting out of the office when I heard you talking with Jinyoung… I’m sorry. But I heard you were falling for him and I freaked out. I-- I thought… I thought this illness was the worst thing in my life, I thought… Who was I to compete with someone like you! You had everything, a nice job, a growing career, people who love you, I-- I only have this back injury and even if I get cured I’ll be just a hard carry for him… Something broke in me, I felt so lost and hopeless, I was quitting on him… until today. Now I know the worst thing would be not this illness but to give up on him”.

Mark gave a sip to his can of coffee and walked slowly to the wall of pictures he had at the side of his desk, there was photo frames with family pictures, pictures of him and Jackson in Hong Kong, pictures of him and Jinyoung at a cruise they took to Japan once, he was hoping one day to get a picture with him too. “Jaebeom…”

“I’m not asking you to stay away from him. I just… want you to know that… I’ll try my best to win his heart. I know you’re also trying your best, so I think it’s fair”

“You’re stupid, Jaebeom”

“Hey!”

“You’ll be in advantage if I knew nothing about it, why are you doing this?”

“Because I want no regrets”

“Okay… I don’t know what to say”

“To be honest, me neither”

Smiling, they kept talking further about Youngjae and how they were in love with one man ─even if none of them said exactly those words─, they talked like any other friends talking about their crushes ─even if minutes before, Mark could’ve swear Jaebeom knew nothing─ and they could’ve talked about him forever if it was not because Mark had a job and Jaebeom had to get back to Jinyoung before he could lose his hair.

───── ♠ ─────

Youngjae came into the room as a refreshing sunshine in a cold morning, with many papers on his arms, he was helping Jackson one more time, there was so many cases to work on, but he wanted to say hi first.

“Good morning, Jackson. Good morning, Jaebeom” he said emphasizing the patient’s name more.

“Good morning, Youngjae!” Jackson replied immediately.

Jaebeom was sitting on the bed, he stood quiet for a moment; Youngjae turned around to raise his eyebrows at him and waited with a hand on his waist. Jaebeom rolled his eyes up “Morning” almost roaring on anger. Youngjae smiled at him.

“Woah, Youngjae, whatever you’re doing, keep up the good work” Jackson congratulated him still surprised; Jaebeom just looked at the ground to hide his embarrassment.

“Yesterday he was happy, why is he grumpy today?” Youngjae asked.

“I’m not grumpy” the grumpy kid a.k.a. Jaebeom said. “Jackson’s annoying”.

“Everyone who’s not Youngjae is annoying to you” Jackson attacked back.

Jaebeom stuttered “WELL-- That’s actually true, he’s not annoying, not like you”

“Calm down you two” Youngjae laughed.

Jaebeom was there to talk to Jackson and Jackson (believe it or not) was about to scold him because the crazy decision Jaebeom was taking. Youngjae saved him one more time. There was a happy and calmed environment until Jinyoung knocked the door and entered the room together with Mark. They look at each other awkwardly for a little moment.

“We’re ready, Jaebeom” the neurologist spoke. “We finally have enough donors and the surgery is finally programed for this week”

“Are you serious?” Jaebeom couldn’t believe it.

“I’m so happy for you, Jaebeom!” Youngjae said excited touching Jaebeom’s arm and making everyone going through a moment out of breath, everyone noticed it but Youngjae. Jackson cleared his voice and joined to congratulate their patient followed by the other ones in the room. It was also a relief; Jaebeom was going to have surgery.

“Okay, okay” Dr. Park was interrupting the cute moment when all of them were hugging the patient. “You’re all cute but I need to get Jaebeom ready for surgery”

Jackson and Youngjae helped him to get back to his wheelchair, Jinyoung took him out of there and the rest of them took different ways to finish their jobs. There was each of them thinking of Jaebeom in their unique ways, all of them worried and happy for him at the same time.

\-----

“They approved Jaebeom’s surgery for this week!” Youngjae was telling his friends. “Soon, he will get rid of his back pain. I really hope he gets healed and maybe eventually he might dance again”

“We know” Bambam said.

“Recently you only talk about him” Yugyeom pointed out.

“Do I?” he got silent looking at the void. “I’m just happy for him”

“You had a date with him, don’t you? How was it?” Yugyeom asked.

“We just talked, he’s so interesting. In the outside he might look like bitch but in his very inside, he’s a ball of sunshine”

“You? Our sunshine? Calling someone else sunshine? Are we really talking about Jaebeom?” Bambam couldn’t believe it.

“We talked for at least two hours or even more, I don’t remember. He’s so sweet”

“Are you falling for him?” Yugyeom put it at the open.

“No” silent again, like thinking twice before talking. “He has someone else and I have Mark” and just saying that, he could swear there in his chest he was feeling empty.

Both younger men stared at each other and silently agreed to talk just the two of them in private, they had not a psychology degree but they could tell about the mess around Youngjae’s life. The thing was… How to help him? Usually Youngjae is the one who helps them to figure it out.

Bambam still remembers their promise at high school of being friends forever and even if they have being in fights and sad times, he wouldn’t change a single second with them, he really valued his friendship with them even if he was used to joke about it too often.

Yugyeom was more open about their infinite love for them but neither he knew how to pull Youngjae out of a bad situation.

“Should we do something?” Yugyeom whispered to Bambam. There was no one around, just in case.

“Youngjae is smart, man. I have to admit I’m a bit worried but we should trust him”

“Right? I don’t want him to get hurt, he’s so stubborn and maybe he’s blind. I saw Dr. Tuan looking at him and both of them were in the same room, he should know it, doesn’t it? My heart hurts”

“Should I ask Jinyoung?”

“Ask me what exactly?” Dr. Park was right behind them.

“U-uh? I-- Nothing” Bambam hesitated.

“Don’t lie to me, Bambam”

“Uh… Help me, Yugyeom”

“He’s curious about Youngjae and Jaebeom’s date” the younger man spit it out. Jinyoung smiled.

“I know what happened. You should ask Youngjae”

“We can’t” they both said at the same time.

“Why is that?”

“Because…” Yugyeom started.

“We…” Bambam tried to continue.

“We know about Mark and his crush” again, they said at the same time.

Jinyoung amused smile faded away with those words, never in the world he could imagine this two kids would figure it out by now, he had been so careful. “How much do you know?”

───── ♠ ─────

Surgery day came fast and Youngjae was so excited, he was like happily drunk, he was all smiles and laughs, all because in his head he was dead scared of what could happened to Jaebeom. Youngjae was nervous, he was scared, he was about to faint. Not because of the blood or the surgery, he was going to be a doctor after all but the idea of watching Jaebeom get his back opened up it was so bad. He was feeling sick just thinking of it, maybe worst when he saw the videos of back surgeries last night.

“Youngjae, are you okay?” the mentioned man turned his head back to watch Mark behind him.

“Dr. Tuan, good afternoon!”

“Hi, Youngjae. You haven’t answer my question”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Today’s Jaebeom’s surgery, I’m a bit nervous”

“For real, he had waited for so long, I hope it works and hopefully he can dance again.”

“Mark…? I wanted to tell you something”

“What a coincidence! Me too. I just don’t know when the right moment is.”

“It’s about Jaebeom” Mark sweated. “I saw some researches but I couldn’t understand what was exactly going to do the surgery to him?”

Mark exhaled relieved, this he can answer. “The spine is the center of the neuronal system, if something is not working there, it won’t work in all the body. From what I heard, Jinyoung will fix/move/adjust some of the disks on Jaebeom’s spine, because of the injury, they now malfunction. That’s why, the surgery is so risky, he moves something in the wrong way and he maybe won’t be able to fix it at all, and anyway, if it works, his back might get fragile, like glass, that’s why Jinyoung says he won’t be able to dance again. Imagine he hurts his back again and ends up with a worst injury”

Youngjae could imagine all, he studied the human body so many times and now he was happy he understood, but worried because of the surgery. He wish Jaebeom to be okay.

"Mark... I know you can do nothing, but... can you promise me Jaebeom will be okay?"

"I really wish I could"

"I have a bad feeling"

"No, no. Youngjae" Mark hugged him, two days ago, Youngjae would probably stop breathing, but he was normal, he just felt comfort and compasion. "Jaebeom will be fine, Jinyoung is really god at his job".

"I know"

\---------

“Today I’ll be the main surgeon here and you all…” Jinyoung was talking to the team the Director assigned for today, he sounded serious and severe and it was understandable thinking that it was his friend the one who was going to get surgery. “I want you to follow every word I say with no hesitation, I’ve worked for more years than you all and I will not tolerate mistakes”

There was Bambam listening to Jinyoung’s speech. Jaebeom was ready on the surgery table, already dressed for surgery; he was facing down with a blue blanket covering his body although there was a huge hole where the back was, to not cover the surgery area. Jaebeom was sleeping thanks to general anesthesia.

The surgeon and the assistants surrounded the patient with mask covering their faces and lights up on the above. Jinyoung watched the big clock on the wall before starting “4:45PM”. He deep breathed and… the surgery started.

Clean cuts were made in a small part of Jaebeom’s back; the goal was to catch the dislocated disk, the one causing the pain and then connect the rest of the disks altogether to hopefully make them work correctly so Jaebeom could at least be able to walk again.

Jinyoung was a total expert: the cuts, the touched nerves, veins and arteries, his job was amazing, Bambam thought. Bambam surprised Dr. Park with quick hand movements and proactively helped the doctor, like a true professional. Jinyoung was proud. All the pressure Jinyoung was putting on Bambam was totally worth it for times like this.

5:15PM and everything was looking good, the beeping sounds was one of the most peaceful noises in the room since it indicated Jaebeom’s state, it was the indicator that everything was okay.

That’s why, when suddenly, the machine went crazy and the peaceful beeping changed to an accelerated one, the red lights showed at all of the screens and Jinyoung took off his glasses. Bambam didn’t know what to do, Jinyoung was talking to him, Bambam looked everywhere to remember how to proper function but got nothing. Jinyoung was still talking to him.

“Bambam!” he yelled. “Bambam!”

“Dr. Park?”

“Call Dr. Tuan, Jaebeom is having a heart attack”.

“Jaebeom is…”

“Bambam!”

“Dr. Park?” he was lost.

“Call, Dr. Tuan immediately”

“H-how?” he was ready to run all over the place and bring him here at any cost.

“Use the phone, the one in the wall, to call him through the speakers.” Jinyoung seemed calmed as expected, but you could tell in his eyes that he was afraid. Bambam senses reactivated and he hurried to the phone in the wall.

“Dr. Tuan to Surgery Room #3, Dr. Tuan to Surgery Room #3” was heard from the speakers and Youngjae startle almost as equal than Mark who was in front of him.

“Surgery Room #3?” Youngjae was remembering.

“It’s Jaebeom’s.”

Both of them ran through the hallways, through the stairs from the first floor to the fourth, through the people passing by, through their mixed feelings and hard breathing. There it was the surgery room with a big “3” marked on the door. Mark came in not before yelling to Youngjae “Bring Yugyeom here!”

“Yes!”

And so Youngjae was going to call him but Yugyeom appeared miraculously from the other side of the corridor. Youngjae pointed at the door and Yugyeom ran inside leaving Youngjae there alone and confused.

What just happened? Mark was called to surgery room #3, the room where Jaebeom was in. Mark was a heart surgeon, why was he called there? Was something wrong with Jaebeom? Jaebeom’s heart was also sick? Youngjae held one of his hand over his chest, he was running out of air.

\----------

_“Jackson, he loves Mark”_

_“Oh, Jinyoung, who doesn’t?”_

_“You don’t understand, Mark loves someone else”_

_“Wait… So he… Jaebeom loves…”_

_“Exactly”_

\-----------------

_“Jinyoung? I think I’m falling for him”_

_“How do you know, Mark?”_

_“Because… I just want to be with him every day. I think of him all time. I smile whenever I see him. I can’t control it. He smiles and I can’t avoid it; my heart goes crazy”_

_“Why don’t you tell him?”_

_“Because he’s not ready to love me back”_

_“Why is that?”_

_“I still need to figure it out…”_

_“I think it’s dumb to make him wait. Just tell him.”_

_“I don’t want to pressure him. Once I told him I like him and he thought I was playing around”_

_“When will you tell him then?”_

_“After the surgery”_

\---------------

_“Youngjae loves Mark, doesn’t he?”_

_“How did you know, Jaebeom?”_

_“I saw him once; he was smiling like crazy while talking to him”_

_“They’re two idiots denying their feelings”_

_“Jinyoung? What if I’m also in love with Youngjae?”_

\-------------

_“Mark loves you”_

_“Shut up, Jackson”_

_“Why don’t you believe me?”_

_“He loves Youngjae and Youngjae loves him back. Why are you trying to get them apart?”_

_“I would never. I’m just saying the truth. I’m telling you because I know your body got damaged again since the moment you found out Youngjae likes him”_

_“Lies won’t fix my body, Jackson”_

_“Hope might help you to hold on tight to life.”_

───── ♠ ─────

Jaebeom woke up in a dark room; the light was getting filtered from the curtains. His eyes were adjusting to the environment when he saw something different than the same depressing celling from the hospital. “Have a good time” it said the paper hanging from above him, he was lost and he tried to move his hands just to feel another hand holding them.

“Youngjae?”

Youngjae was sleeping by his side, sitting on a chair and resting his head near of Jaebeom’s belly, he was holding firmly from the patient’s hand. The young man opened his eyes slightly to meet the other one’s eyes. He woke up immediately.

“Jaebeom!” He squealed joyful. “Mark! He woke up! Mark!”

There was Dr. Tuan sleeping on a couch in front of his bed, he didn’t look like a doctor though, he was dressed casually, converse, sporty jacket, rounded glasses; was it really Mark? Mark opened his eyes and jumped out of the couch when he saw Jaebeom waking up.

“Finally! Let me go and call the others” Youngjae said in a rush to the outside.

“You got me worried” Mark said. “I thought we were losing you”

“What happened?”

“The surgery was going really well but suddenly, your body started to lose so much blood, your heart stopped working and there was red all over the place. I did my best to save you, I really did, but Youngjae was the one saving your life”

“What do you mean?”

“When I got into the surgery room, your heart was not working and the blood in your veins also stopped moving. I did everything in my hands and I made it, your heart started to bomb blood again. And you know what the first thing you said in your dreams was?” Jaebeom lightly blushed. “You said: Youngjae”.

“You know I like him” Jaebeom whispered.

“Yeah… I didn’t know Youngjae likes you back”

Jaebeom showed a surprised gesture. “Is not possible”

“He haven’t said it, but I know it. I know the way he looks at you”

“But me? You’re so much better than me” Jaebeom was denying again.

“He looks at you with care and happiness shining in his eyes. He looks at your just the way you look at him that day when he caught us while I was trying to kiss your cheek. He looks at you the same way I look at you every time I see you.”

Jaebeom was in shock. Did he hear right? Mark just said he was in love with HIM? “I was though”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you stupidly told ME that YOU were in love with someone else. I know it was not your intention to hurt me and I guess it’s my fault because I kept quiet all this time. Just let me tell you once; Jaebeom, I’m in love with you. I have been since the first time we fought at Jinyoung's house. Remember? That time when I told you to take your cat outside and you gave a full essay of why your cat was so important to you”

For all the times Jaebeom looked at the mirror and told to himself “No one will ever fall for a looser like you” this was a kick in his brain and his chest. He felt stupidly happy, accept yourself was not easy at all. And there was really someone telling him he was loved. “I’m sorry...”

“I know, I know… I did it to get it out of my system. I feel so free now. So, Jaebeom?”

“Yes?”

“I hope you get free too. Don’t let him go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the end.
> 
> I DECIDED TO DO A THIRD CHAP ♥  
> I CAN'T SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME  
> It deserves a better ending askldjfasf
> 
> Just in case it wasn't clear. Mark was in love with Jaebeom since the beginning.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I really love you all just for doing it and cheering for me, for listening to my crazy ideas and hype all the way my love for this two.
> 
> Please stay happy ♥


	3. Healed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now I can sleep in peace, please enjoy ♥

─── Mark and Jaebeom first encounter ───

Jinyoung’s house was full; there was a lot of people and chatting, undesirable noises and not a single place where Jaebeom could rest in peace. Not even his room because the wall was not sound proof (he needed to get back to his house as soon as possible). Living with Jinyoung wasn’t that bad, not as much as feeling like a heavy potato on a wheelchair.

Jinyoung didn’t even like parties either, not this big with so many people. It was probably Jackson’s idea and Jinyoung just said yes. Jaebeom cringed thinking on them, they were too cute for this society.

At least Jaebeom could push himself through the house and avoid all the people, it was the plan until he found someone alone at Jinyoung’s library. He thin and black haired, he was reading a cardiology book and when he saw Jaebeom he felt embarrassed because he was hiding from the crowd too.

“Are you lost?” Jaebeom asked so confused.

“Eh… No, I don’t like crowds”

“Why are you here then?”

“Oh… I’m sorry, I didn’t--“

“No, I’m asking because I also don’t want to be here but I have no choice” he said pointing at his chair.

“It’s a doctors meeting, did you know? I probably going to get transferred to Founders Hospital and well, I want to do a good impression”

“A good impression… hiding over here”

“I know…”

“This library is not bad? Isn’t it?” Jaebeom tried to be kind.

“Yeah, Jinyoung did a great job”

“That freaking doctor… Someday I’ll have mine too”

“So you’re not living with him?”

“Nah, I’m staying here meanwhile I get better”

“He’s too kind”

“He’s my best friend”

They kept talking about Jinyoung and then about the Cardiology Book Mark had in his hands, they talked about his doctor career and then about Jaebeom’s condition. Usually it was awkward to talk about how he got injured but it was easy to talk to this mysterious cardiologist. Mark brought pets topic and it was been so long since he could talk so freely that Jaebeom sad every little detail about his cat and how unfair it was that he couldn’t be with her since he hurt himself.

The night came.

“Do you know for how long I’ve been looking for you?” a weird voice filled the comfort of the room. It was a weird but familiar voice.

“Jinyoung?” Jaebeom couldn’t believe it; he actually fell on Jackson’s trap. “Again?”

“No… I’m in looooooove”

Thankfully Mark was there or who know how in the world Jaebeom could have taken care of his friend. Jaebeom was pissed, how Jinyoung could not think and get drunk, knowing that Jaebeom was there!!? He was rambling all the way to Jinyoung’s bedroom, Mark was only laughing to himself, low but enough for Jaebeom to hear it.

“Jinyoung is much nicer than this” Jaebeom somehow wanted Mark to like Jinyoung, because they were going to be workmates at the end, so he didn’t wanted that awful first impression to spread.

“I know, Jackson talks so much about him”

“They’re annoying” they said at the same time. They nodded and smiled agreed.

Then, Mark just left.

─── Surgery room #3 ───

Yugyeom was heading to the cafeteria to buy a drink when he heard Mark’s name being called from the speakers. It was Bambam voice doing his best to sound calm. Yugyeom knew it; he needed to run over there.

He saw Youngjae outside the room, he just looked at him for two seconds, then he got into the madness; Mark was already dressed with mask and blue bath, a syringe in his gloved hands and the most scared look Yugyeom had ever seen on Dr. Tuan. Bambam was also there to put on Yugyeom hand’s his clothes and protections, he quickly put them on and then he was ready to help the cardiologist.

“Defibrillator” the doctor said acting calm.

“Ready” Yugyeom answered.

“Space, ready, 1, 2, shock!”

“Hemorrhage under control. Patient still not responding.”

“One more time. Space, ready, 1, 2, shock!”

“No response.”

“Come one, Jaebeom, stay with us” Mark whispered.

“You can do it” Yugyeom comforted him patting him on the back.

“Apply a second dose”

“A-are you sure?” Jinyoung intervene. “Last time…”

“Yes I’m sure, Jaebeom body is strong”

“Dose ready, Dr. Tuan”

A little prayer to God or whoever was protecting Jaebeom, to please, don’t take him and let him stay on earth with them even if it was not together with him. “Space! Ready at 1, 2… Shock!”

Everyone in the room jumped, raised his hands and euphorically yelled celebrating the comeback of Jaebeom’s heartbeat.

─── Jaebeom opened his eyes ────

“I hope you get free too. Don’t let him go” Youngjae heard out of Mark’s voice. On his mind, he got the idea that maybe they were talking about him but that was absurd. He waited until his cheeks got back to normal to opened the door and get inside the room.

“I’m back!” the therapist announced with a big smile on his face.

“Youngjae! Thank god!” Mark was truly relieved. “Help me to stop Jaebeom, he wants to get up”

“Really? Omg, Jaebeom, let me help you!”

“What? No! He might get hurt!”

“Who’s going to get hurt?” Jinyoung said behind Youngjae.

“Jinyoung! Please! Jaebeom wants to stand up” Mark begged.

“And why not?” Jinyoung said calmly.

“Are you serious? No!”

“What’s going on here?” it was Jackson. Mark was already tired; no one was listening.

“Whatever! I don’t care!”

Jackson and Youngjae help the patient to stand up on his feet, it was too early to do it, he had surgery two days ago and of course his body was still weak, anyhow, Jaebeom wanted to try. He could feel his soles touching the cold ground under him and his naked toes getting used to the sensation, his muscles responded correctly when his knees didn’t flex weirdly as he expected, two people were still holding him but he was the happiest person on the room when chills ran through his skin, from his toes to his back. Finally, his legs were responding.

“Jinyoung” he cried.

“Jaebeom” Jinyoung cried proud of him, not waiting for him to make the first step, he walked to him to hug him. “Thank you, thank you all for healing Jaebeom”

Jackson throw a hand over Mark shoulders as in a hug to congratulate him, then called Youngjae to join the hug but Jinyoung pulled him first. Youngjae has hugged Jaebeom before, when he had to move him from his chair to the bed and vice versa but it was nothing compared to the happiness of having a healed man on his arms.

“Thank you, Youngjae” he whispered.

“I did nothing”

“Of course you did” Jinyoung was unstoppable crying. “We, Jackson, Mark and I, the three of us could’ve healed his body, but his heart? his spirit? No one in this room but you could’ve have done what you did”

─── Jaebeom and Youngjae───  
─── exchanged phone numbers ───

YJ: how’s recovery?

JB: Not bad

YJ: Good

JB: tell me again why you’re not my therapist?

YJ: I finished that area, they moved me to another one.

JB: I bet I could walk faster if you were there

YJ: are you flirting?

JB: Is it working?

YJ: Not a little bit

JB: damnit

YJ: lucky you, you’re cute

JB: IS THAT FLIRTING?

YJ: that’s facts

JB: for real, I miss your face

JB: If you want, I can go visit you at the hospital

JB: I miss talking to you

JB: like real talking

JB: please

YJ: I’m busy

JB: PLEASE

YJ: but I can make some space for you

YJ: my favorite patient.

YJ: Sunday at 7pm?

JB: I can’t

YJ: Then???

JB: My mom wants to meet you

YJ: Wow. Okay. Bye.

JB: I’m serious

JB: Don’t joke. Do you want to meet her?

YJ: What if she hates me?

JB: why would she hate you?

YJ: I’m not good with new people

JB: you’ll do fine

JB: You’re my friend, you make me happy, she knows that

YJ: when?

JB: She wants to make a family dinner or something like that

JB: Next Saturday

YJ: I don’t know

JB: It’s okay, you don’t have to

YJ: I’ll ask Jackson if I can move my day off

JB: seriously?

YJ: I never joke, Jaebeom

JB: yeah, sure

YJ: I’m serious

JB: Okay. I’ll tell her

YJ: what should I wear?

JB: It doesn’t matter

JB: come with your PJ’s if you want

YJ: I’ll go naked

JB: That’s only for me

YJ: What?

JB: what???

JB: I said nothing

JB: I was hacked!

JB: Bye, my mom calls me

JB: See ya on Saturday

JB: bye

JB: ♥

────── Saturday ──────

Jaebeom’s mom prepared a small but nicely done event where only family where invited, that’s why Youngjae was feeling out of place at the beginning because besides his mom, there were like 25 to 30 other people Youngjae didn’t know. Jaebeom, walking with the help of a pair of crutches, slow but walking better each day, he took his hand and pulled him to one of the tables and he kind of felt comfort because he knew he wasn’t lonely, it changed back when people started to talk to him and asking him questions about Jaebeom’s recovery.

“How did you dominate Jaebeom’s temper?”

“Wasn’t he too stubborn?”

“What did you do to make him soft?”

“I have never seen Jaebeom smile like this”

“Youngjae has him enchanted or something”

“Jaebeom, sweety?” Jaebeom’s mom was talking. “He’s the boy you always talk about, isn’t he?”

Jaebeom almost spit his drink “Uh… yeah, mom. He’s… too precious to me”

“I’m glad we finally meet you, Youngjae, right?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“Actually…” Jaebeom kept talking. “Thanks to him, I think, thanks to him I’m alive”

No one talked after his words; everyone was quiet listening to him and the not so surprising confessions. “Jaebeom, I think…”

“It took me too long, Youngjae but I…”

“J-Jaebeom, I don’t…”

“I know it’s thanks to you that my heart is beating faster than ever, Youngjae, I can tell that you’re the reason I can’t erase the smile on my face and it makes me look like a dumb all the time…”

“Just say it, Jaebeom” It was Jaebeom’s dad.

“Youngjae, I like you a lot”

“

Everyone screamed, clapped and laughed in relief because Jaebeom was finally saying it. The two of them were so obvious but it was finally the time for them to know each other’s feelings. Jaebeom’s parents smiled proud of their son, some tears were getting close to fall down but they shook their heads and continued with the dinner.

────── After dinner ──────

“Aren’t you tired?”

“No, why?”

“I can walk alone to my car, you’re still getting used to your legs”

“Just keep walking, I want to take you there. I need practice, don’t I?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt” Youngjae was looking at him with the things under his arms, he was getting better at it but for real, he was worried something unexpected could happen.

“I’m fine”

“Seriously, I don’t want you to fall down.” Youngjae stood in front of him, eyes dead serious stopping the taller man. “Go back home”

“You’re my home”

“Shut up”

“Youngjae…”

“Shut up” Youngjae shut his mouth pressing his lips with the opposite ones. A quick and warm kiss he didn’t plan but it was much better than expected. They both opened their eyes smiling. “Get better soon, Jaebeommie”

“I need more of those” Jaebeommie pouted.

“You’ll need to recover first”

“I’ll do. Soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> I'm so happy with this story, I fought a lot with myself and procastination but I'm happy I could write the words I wanted. I hope all of you enjoyed this.  
> I love you all ♥♥♥


End file.
